Just a Mom’s View

“Hey!”
“Hey, girl!”
“What’s up?”
“Good to see you!”
“How are you?”
“Good! How are you?”

I still remember these phrases being on repeat while I was at college. Thousands of students would be switching classes, and when we passed each other on the sidewalks, these were the phrases we had time to say as we rushed on to our next destination.

Always in a rush. Asking questions without pausing for the answers. That’s what you do when you’re in a hurry.

The problem is that these scenarios are not isolated to my college days. I have seen it in churches for decades. We rush from point A to point B and fly past other people while uttering these empty phrases and questions without waiting for answers.

Always in a hurry. Asking questions without pausing for the answers.

It’s time we make big changes. We must be incredibly intentional when we walk in the doors of our church buildings. Smile. Pause to talk to that lady you’re passing and make eye contact. Truly listen. Offer an encouraging word. Give a hug. Offer your prayers and actually pray for them. You won’t remember everything they said – but try to remember a couple of things that you can ask about later. Follow up with a text. Send an old-fashioned card. Take them for coffee. This isn’t always possible – we really do need to hurry from point A to point B sometimes. But as a general rule, try making a change in this area.

I’m pretty positive this is why small groups have been on the rise for so many years. Church members are longing for a connection past the surface phrases we’ve been uttering for decades. They want to go deeper. Deeper in Bible study. Deeper in friendships.

And that’s exactly what Jesus intended (Matt. 22:36-40; Hebrews 10:25; John 13:34-35; Phil. 2:4-5).

But, we have to ask ourselves, how can we love someone like Jesus loved them, if we don’t even know them?

I’ve been trying to get better at this. Last week, after church, instead of rushing our 5 kids out of the door so we could get to bed at a decent hour, we sat down and chatted with others. I remember looking around and smiling. I even took a picture. Several people, including teenagers, had stuck around and didn’t seem to want to leave. They were just talking and laughing.

That’s how it should be.

I’ve heard that a sign of a healthy church is seeing people staying late to just fellowship. I love seeing this with my own eyes. When church services end, it’s easy to give in to how tired you feel. It’s easy to quickly slip out of the back door and go home. You will have times and seasons where this may have to be the case. But can I challenge you that we were meant for more than that? Our greatest goals are to love God and love people.

How can we properly do either one if we never take the time to get to know them?

Instead of saying, “What’s up?” and then walking on, try pausing. Try eye contact. Try smiling! Try waiting for their answer. Try sticking around to encourage someone or pray for them.

Though old habits die hard, perhaps today is the day you can make a small step in the right direction. It’s not about us, it’s about the Lord, and it’s about others. Let’s get past that surface, Christian, and let’s go deeper the way God intended.

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:” Phil. 2:3-5